Dakota Beacon

It happens to many men as they grow older, one of those facts of life that come with age. When their kids start having kids these men rise in status. They take on the new and elevated role of "Grandpa."
 
 Last spring my wife and I spent time with our son, daughter-in-law and two granddaughters (ten and three). With joy I exercised  my prerogatives as elder of the tribe.
 
 Then, this past week, we hosted our daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter (eight) and grandson (three) in our home. Again, I practiced the privileges that come with my elder status. Reflections count.
 
 When a child comes along, everyone in the family plays a role.  Mom is the nurturer and caregiver. Dad, with his rough and ready ways, is disciplinarian and enforcer of household rules. Then there is Grandma, sweet cuddly Grandma, ready to help with advice on the mysterious subtleties of child-rearing.
 
 Finally, there is Grandpa (this is my cue). There is no substitute for Grandpa with his own special niche. Is there any Grandpa that doesn't see his children's children as the brightest, most beautiful, most
 charming and well-behaved children in every way? Pride and joy is overwhelming at the sight and sound of each grandchild.
 
 Only Grandpas can be Grandpas. Their role is to bring joy and happiness and well-being to their grandchildren, to teach them how to have good clean fun.
 
 Rest assured there is some advice Grandpa won't be asked.  Grandpa won't be asked for advice on child-rearing. He won't be consulted on matters of manners or discipline or home remedies for a sick child. And, if he's smart, he won't offer his opinion where it's not welcome.
 
 On the other hand, turn around is fair play. Grandpa's forte is to act quietly and decisively without asking for advice -- or permission. He has the wisdom of age and is looking out for the best interests of his grandchildren. His advantage is to follow the admonition "Just do it." After all, it's easier to obtain forgiveness than to get permission.
 
 It is not Grandpa's role to initiate discipline. Mom and Dad lay down the law. They set the rules and Dad is usually the enforcer. Grandpa's role is to bend the rules, skate close to the edge, enjoy carefree fun with his grandchildren.
 
 It is not Grandpa's role to establish and oversee his grandchild's diet. That, too, is the job for Mom and Dad. Grandpa's role is to "treat" his grandchild to all the culinary delights prohibited by the rules. After
 all, who else will help the child distinguish between key lime pie and chocolate cake, ice cream and frozen yogurt? Who will point out the difference between a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and jelly beans?
 Surely a child must be taught at an early age the variety of candy bars and how they differ in taste and texture from cookies.
 
 It is not Grandpa's role to observe meticulous rules of hygiene for his grandchildren. It is Grandpa's role to satisfy his grandchild's curiosity in the great outdoors. Everyone knows the child will get a bath
 before going to bed. And, if Grandpa is sly, his grandchild won't be going to bed anytime soon. Meanwhile, there are sticks and stones to examine, dogs to pet, and odd pieces of debris to inspect.
 
 Learning to be Grandpa is like teaching an old dog new tricks.  Fortunately, mine are tricks easily learned. They're sort of tailored to our ages on both ends of the spectrum.
 
 I know that kids progress through identifiable stages of growth.  It's obvious. But when it involves your immediate descendants, your own flesh and blood, the experience becomes personal. I look for subtle
 similarities in features, traits, habits mannerisms, expressions,  idiosyncrasies -- anything that says "We're related. We share a lineage.  Part of you is me."
 
 I'm catching the hang of it. I figure the more time I spend with our grandchildren, the more proficient I'll become.
 
 Indeed, "Practice makes perfect."
 
 
 
 Dennis M. Patrick can be contacted at P. O. Box 337, Stanley, ND 58784 or  bnt@midstatetel.com.