Dakota Beacon

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. When a man’s kids have kids, that man assumes a new standing. He takes on the vaunted role of “Grandpa.”

We take every advantage of visiting all our kids, and of course, our grandkids. This includes four bloodline grandkids and four step grandkids. How great is that?!

Each youngster comes along and everyone in the family plays their role. As the youngsters grow older each family member brings their influence to bear in one way or another.

Mom is the nurturer, the caregiver, the consoler when things go wrong. Mom is there to feed and clothe and clean. Day by day as the child grows and develops into their own person Mom bears witness to each small change. Year by year Mom affirms each new experience as the child grows from infant to toddler to teenager.

Then there is Dad with his rough and ready ways. Just as Mom is the nurturer, so Dad is the disciplinarian, the enforcer of household rules. Once he and Mom agree on the rules, the rule becomes law.

Aunts and uncles play their roles, each making their personal and unique contributions. Everyone, in some way, has an impact on the young person’s life.

Here comes Grandma, sweet cuddly Grandma, ready to help Mom and, when asked, to offer advice on the subtleties of child rearing. Mom and Grandma carry on long conversations sharing mysterious secrets ranging from baby care to teenage behavior as only sisters in motherhood can.

Finally, there is Grandpa. (This is my cue.) When you brush away the fluff and get down to everyday life, there is no substitute for Grandpa.

Grandpas have their own special niche. Their role is to bring joy and happiness and wellbeing to their grandchildren, to teach them how to have good clean fun. Their creativity is bounded only by their imagination.

Rest assured there is some advice Grandpa won’t be asked. Grandpa will not be consulted on child rearing. He probably will not be asked about matters of clothing or fashion or home remedies for a sick child. And, if he’s smart, he will not volunteer his opinion where it’s not wanted.

On the other hand, turn around is fair play. Grandpa’s forte is to act quietly and decisively without asking for advice or permission. His advantage is to follow the admonition “Just do it.” After all, it’s easier for Grandpa to obtain forgiveness than it is to get permission. Then too, he has the wisdom that comes with age and is looking out for the best interests of the child.

It is not Grandpa’s role to initiate discipline. Mom and Dad lay down the law. They set the rules and Dad is usually the enforcer. Grandpa’s role is to bend the rules, skate close to the edge, enjoy carefree fun with the child.

It is not Grandpa’s job to establish and oversee the child’s diet. That job falls to Mom and Dad. Grandpa’s starring role is to “treat” the child to the fine culinary delights prohibited by rules and regulations. After all, who else will help the child distinguish between pumpkin pie and chocolate cake? Who will point out the difference between a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an ice cream cone? Surely a child must be taught at an early age the variety of candy bars and how they differ from cookies.

It is not Grandpa’s role to observe meticulous rules of hygiene for the child. It is Grandpa’s role to satisfy the child’s curiosity in the great outdoors. Everyone knows the child will get a bath before going to bed. And, if Grandpa is sly, his grandchild won’t be going to bed anytime soon. Meanwhile, there are sticks and stones to examine, dogs to pet, and odd pieces of junk to inspect.

Learning to be Grandpa is like reviving old tricks with an old dog. Fortunately for the grandkids, my tricks are easy to learn. They are tailored for an age group on both ends of the spectrum.

Then a segue in time and topic sneaks up almost unnoticed. The first grandkid graduates from high school. Then another. Wait a minute! Weren’t we just playing with toys in the back yard? Unbelievable! I could say something trite like, “My, how time flies.” But what’s the use? I am slowly being surrounded by young adults I once knew as kids.

“Grandpa, what was it like when you were…?” the grandkids ask. And we drift off into a bit of reverie as I reminisce. They’re amazed at my tales! I’m amazed at my memory! Happily, this Grandpa has found another niche.

Only Grandpas can be Grandpas, and a wise Grandpa will find his niche whatever his age.

Dennis M. Patrick can be contacted at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).