Dakota Beacon

Some have already mastered the language of Wee Willie Woke. Most have not, but it’s easy to catch on. The following may help the non-woke folk decipher the communication of youngsters sporting vermillion hair, earlobe plugs, and pierced body parts seen and unseen. Anyone may scan the internet to enhance their command of woke word jargon.

People most prone to be “woke” include the younger generation. That would not exclude a few leftover aging hippies from the ‘60s finding safe space in the university. Although American academia may be the locus of wokeness, it is the student inmates who are running the institutions and making the greatest impact. Most “woke” young people, a product of a failed education system, never mastered the English language. Consequently, they constructed their own vernacular with one-syllable grunts and groans. Going a step further, the younger generation, wise beyond their years, took on the mission of righting the social wrongs of their elders who, in their view, were too bigoted to fix them.

So, what is “woke?” WOKE – Awakened, stirred, or aroused. Someone is WOKE when they are severely aware of contemporary social injustice, perceived racism, and purported systemic inequality in society. The act of being pretentious about how much you care about a social issue. In a broader context, older generations see this as old fashion adolescent rebellion writ large.

ADULTING. -- The mundane tasks of doing laundry, cooking, and paying bills. A specialized word for doing these tasks is a subtle nod to delayed mature development.

BAE (Before Anyone Else) -- A term of endearment used by those who are too hurried or lazy to use “baby” or “babe.” Often found in memes and Instagram captions.

BASIC – A pejorative term describing a person only interested in mainstream, popular things and can't think for themselves. A cookie-cutter version of everyone else.

BOUGIE -- BOUGIE describes someone acting as though they are of a higher socioeconomic class. From the French word “bourgeois.” Examples of BOUGIE things include designer coffee, rosé wine, and private schools beginning with pre-kindergarten.

CLAP BACK -- The best way to respond to criticism or insults. A person may CLAP BACK at a frenemy by responding with a sharp comeback -- with attitude.

CRAY-CRAY -- Slang for crazy. The phrase was popularized by the song “Niggas in Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West.

DANK -- Not an unpleasantly humid, damp, or chilly place. Calling someone DANK is the equivalent of calling them cool or great.

DEAD – If you laugh so hard you can't laugh anymore, then you're DEAD. The term is often seen in response to memes or other phrases.

FOMO -- Fear of Missing Out. Refers to social anxiety fueled by the internet’s constant stream of social events. JOMO is the Joy of Missing Out described by Psychology Today as the “emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO.”

GHOST -- Refers to completely disappearing after hanging out and showing interest, whether in a potential partner, a career opportunity, or a friend. If someone suddenly stops answering texts, calls, or social media messages, they have GHOSTED.

HANGRY -- This term is a combination of hungry and angry. HANGRY describes feeling irritable and hungry. A person may feel HANGRY if they skip a meal.

SALTY -- If someone is SALTY they are in a bad mood or upset frequently over something minor. You can be SALTY about not scoring an invite to a party.

SPILLING TEA -- Refers to spreading gossip. SIPPING TEA describes quietly or passively absorbing gossip.

SUS -- Being suspect or shady. Used as a replacement for the word “suspicious.” For example, “Kanye's behavior towards Kim has been pretty SUS lately.”

THIRSTY – Describes someone who is craving attention and will do anything to get it. A person who obsessively texts their crush is THIRSTY.

THROWING SHADE -- To subtly direct anger toward someone with a passive-aggressive side-eye glance.

Sling the lingo. It’s not difficult if you’re HANGRY enough. But, beware! You might just be SUS to the WOKE.

Dennis M. Patrick can be contacted at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).